When Anger Strikes: 6 Steps to Guide Someone Through Emotional Turmoil"

When it comes to helping someone with anger issues, the key thing is to really understand what your role is in the situation. You're not in charge of how others feel, and you really shouldn't feel like you have to make your loved one happy all the time. It's really important to set clear boundaries, show what healthy communication looks like, and encourage your loved one to get some help.

Check out these six ways to support someone dealing with anger issues:

1. Ease the Tension Right Away

If someone begins to get upset, you can still keep your cool and stay neutral. It can be tough, but responding to anger with more anger usually doesn't solve anything. Usually, it just ends up making things more tense. When you stay calm, you keep your cool, which can really help you take care of your emotions during those intense times.

Here are some ways to ease tension right when it happens:

• Use a calm and steady voice

• Avoid getting drawn into conflict

• Really listen to what the other person is saying

• Look for shared interests

• Don’t forget to take a breath

• Step back if necessary

2. Establish Some Basic Guidelines for Communication

Making healthy communication a priority in your relationship is really important. It's all about both sides showing respect for each other and having open, clear conversations. So, when you think about it, hostile conversations really go against the idea of making a genuine connection. It's totally okay to set your boundaries! The first thing you want to do is figure out what your non-negotiables are regarding how people talk to you.

Let’s talk about some ground rules you might want to consider:

• Let’s keep it calm

• Avoid name-calling or harsh criticism

• No physical harm, please

• No mean sarcasm disguised as “just joking”

• Use respectful language when we disagree

3. Suggest They Seek Professional Help

Anger problems can often come from things like unresolved trauma, depression, anxiety, or other mental health challenges. You might not be the only one who can help your loved one with their stress. A therapist can really help people figure out how to handle their emotions and deal with distress when it comes up. Even though change can be a slow process, having professional support can really help make a difference.

It's really important to show that you care about how they're doing. Also, recognize how their anger impacts you. Being honest really matters. When you really care about the relationship, it’s super important to make sure you take care of your own needs during this open conversation. If someone cares about you, they'll value your opinions too.

Let’s talk about some effective treatment options for dealing with anger issues:

• Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): When it comes to anger issues, CBT helps folks get a grip on what triggers their anger and the thought patterns that aren't doing them any favors. When they shift their thinking, they can decide to respond in more helpful ways.

• Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is all about helping with emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness. It’s a great option for those dealing with anger issues. This approach was originally designed for borderline personality disorder, but it's been applied to help with a range of mental health challenges.

• Acceptance and commitment therapy, or ACT, combines mindfulness with behavioral strategies to support those dealing with anger issues. Rather than cutting down on emotions, the aim is to identify our values and figure out how to act in line with them.

• Somatic therapy is all about connecting the mind and body. Figuring out how to recognize bodily sensations can really help folks connect more with their emotions and what they need.

• Medication: There aren't any specific meds just for anger, but some folks might find that psychiatric medication helps with mental health issues that can make mood swings or reactivity worse. Depending on the specific condition, you might look into antidepressants, anti-anxiety meds, or antipsychotics.

• Anger management classes are all about helping you understand your feelings and giving you some handy tools to deal with tough situations. You've got the option of taking classes in person or online.

• Anger management therapy is all about helping people understand and handle their anger better. This therapy can be quite diverse, incorporating elements from CBT, DBT, family therapy, psychodynamic therapy, and somatic therapy.

4. Take some time to focus on yourself.

No matter how your loved one deals with their feelings, it's really important to make sure you're looking after yourself. Taking care of yourself can really help you think more clearly and keep a balanced view on things. It keeps that sense of dignity and self-respect, which is really important for taking care of your own needs when you're in a relationship.

Here are some ways to take care of yourself:

• Join a support group: Why not think about joining a support group? It’s a great way to meet people who share similar experiences. This support can help you remember that you’re not alone, and you might discover new ways to handle your stress.

• Make a safety plan: Having a safety plan is really crucial if you're in a violent or emotionally abusive relationship. It's a good idea to think about safe people and places that can support you if you decide to leave your current situation, even if you don't end up using this plan.

• Pay attention to what you enjoy: Make sure to focus on spending time doing hobbies and activities that really matter to you. Keeping your own identity is really important, no matter what the other person is up to.

• Make your physical health a priority: Make sure you're eating well, staying active, and getting plenty of rest. Even though these strategies might not directly solve the problem, taking care of your body can really help boost your mood.

• Create your support network: A lot of folks in unhealthy relationships tend to pull away from others or drift apart from their close family and friends. Even in loving relationships, having some outside support is really important.

• Take charge of stress before it takes charge of you: If you care about someone who struggles with anger, you might notice yourself picking up some of their habits as time goes on. One way to handle this is by figuring out what stresses you out and working on some helpful coping skills.

• Try not to blame yourself: Remember, your loved one’s anger isn’t on you. Just keep in mind that every adult is in charge of how they handle their feelings.

5. Acknowledge Positive Responses to Anger

If someone you care about is really putting in the effort to manage their anger, you can definitely support them in that journey. It's not about overdoing the compliments, but sharing how it feels to hear new responses or see them using different coping skills can really make a difference. It's great to see them sticking with therapy or other support options, so make sure to let them know how much you appreciate them accepting that help.

6. Let Them Have Some Space

Dealing with anger issues can be tough, and honestly, telling someone to calm down when they're upset is usually not the best move. If things are getting heated, it’s a good idea to give them some space to cool off and think things through more clearly. Why not step out of the room for a bit or think about taking a few hours apart? This can really assist with diffusion.

Supporting someone with anger issues can be challenging, but it's important to approach the situation with empathy, patience, and respect. By creating an environment of understanding, setting clear boundaries, and encouraging professional help when needed, you can help your loved one work through their anger in a healthier way. Remember, it’s also essential to prioritize your own well-being and seek support when necessary. Change takes time, but with the right tools and mindset, both you and your loved one can build a more positive and peaceful relationship.