The Art of Parenting: Diving Deep into Parenting Style

Parenting styles totally matter and play a big role in shaping a child's development! But don’t forget, there are so many other factors at play too, like culture, personality, temperament, birth order, and social influences. This blog is all about sharing knowledge and understanding, free from judgment or shame. It's so easy for parents to get caught up in the daily grind, right? Sometimes we forget to pause and think about our parenting styles and the impact they have on our little ones' growth. A little reflection can go a long way!

What is your parenting style?

Depending on the day, you might be a combination of many styles or just one! Your parenting style can totally change as you welcome each new little one into your family! It’s all about how you grow and learn with each experience, especially as you age.  And if you notice something you don't like about your parenting behaviors, keep in mind that you can modify them. Parenting is a journey that keeps changing and growing! Always room to grow and discover new skills! Isn't it interesting that even one of the parenting styles doesn't include the idea of a perfect parent? We’re all beautifully imperfect.  Some days are good, some are better, and others are just a bit tougher. Being a parent is seriously the toughest gig out there! Being a parent means holding the incredible responsibility of nurturing another human being's life. Wow, that's some serious responsibility and pressure! Every single moment is a beautiful journey of pouring my heart and soul into my little ones. Being a parent is a full-time gig that never clocks out! Even when the kiddos grow up, the love, guidance, and worry just keep on flowing! Feeling the pressure as a parent? It's like we're all under a microscope trying to make the best choices for our little ones! From hitting those milestones to navigating school and discipline, it can be tough when everyone seems to have their own way of doing things. Remember, you're not alone in this journey!

1. Authoritarian Parenting

Authoritarian parenting styles are all about setting strict rules and expectations for obedience, while often lacking warmth and affection towards kids. Authoritarian parents tend to be pretty strict and set in their ways. They often rely on harsh control or punishment to ensure their kids follow the rules and stay obedient. Parents often don't explain their rules or decisions and usually skip having a chat with the child about it. Families that use an authoritarian parenting style really focus on making sure everyone follows the rules and behaves as expected. Authoritarian parents often have a tough time seeing or just don’t want to explain their decisions, whether it’s about discipline, emotional health, or how they communicate.

It’s interesting to think that authoritarian parents might have picked up their parenting style from their own parents or from their cultural background. Some parents are often called disciplinarians, and they might think that kids should be “seen, not heard.”

Characteristics of an authoritarian parenting style include:

• Low parental responsiveness

• Intense criticism of children

• Strict rules and expectations for obedience

• Little consideration for children’s feelings

• Lack of interest in child’s behavioral needs

• One-sided communication between parents and children

• Limited to no explanation is given to children for decisions, rules, or expectations

• Limited to no affection or importance placed on sharing emotions

• Strained and insecure parent-child relationship

2. Authoritative Parenting

Authoritative parenting is all about balancing high expectations with being responsive to your child's needs. A parent creates a caring and supportive atmosphere while also establishing clear limits and boundaries. A good parent-child relationship is all about being democratic, where parents are open to hearing their kids' thoughts when they talk about their decisions.

Authoritative parenting styles really help kids become more independent. Parents get that their kids will have their own thoughts and opinions, and they're pretty tuned in to that. They’re open to hearing what their kids have to say, even if it means listening to some disagreements. In contrast to authoritarian parents, they offer explanations and support when it comes to decisions and what’s expected.

Characteristics of an authoritative parenting style include:

• Provides consistent rules and expectations

• Emphasis on mental health and emotions

• Balances input and ideas from parent and child

• Creates an emotionally safe environment

• Parent-child relationship is healthy and supportive

• Modelling healthy boundaries and relationships for children

• Parental encouragement to be self-reliant

• Practicing flexibility

• Freedom for children to express and share feelings

3. Permissive Parenting

Permissive parenting styles are all about being really responsive as a parent while keeping the demands pretty low. Permissive parents are really in tune with their child's feelings and provide a lot of support, but they often find it tough to establish clear boundaries and expectations. They might come across as a bit easy-going, laid-back, or even a little too relaxed when it comes to setting rules, which can help their kids transition into adulthood.

A permissive parent usually prioritizes their child's emotional needs and happiness above everything else. If the kid's happy, then the parent's happy too. Permissive behaviour might show up as having a hard time saying “no” when a child asks for something or makes a demand, just to steer clear of letting them down. Permissive parents often don't offer much direction on social behaviour.

Characteristics of a permissive parenting style include:

• Social and emotional needs are valued

• Parent-child relationship is emotionally secure and safe

• Communication remains open

• Children are allowed to make their own decisions

• Expectations are rarely set or enforced

4. Uninvolved Parenting

Uninvolved parenting styles are characterized by a lack of both demandingness and responsiveness. When parents are indifferent and uninvolved, they don’t really set expectations or offer support for their kids' behaviors, emotions, or needs.

Uninvolved parenting, which some might call neglectful parenting, covers the basics for a child, like shelter, clothing, and food. The parent doesn't really establish any expectations for social or academic behaviors. A child’s feelings, connections with others, and sense of self-worth aren’t really acknowledged or encouraged. Uninvolved parents often come across as dismissive or uninterested, only focusing on meeting basic needs without engaging with their child beyond that.

It's worth mentioning that uninvolved parenting isn't always done on purpose or with bad intentions. Sometimes, a parent might need to put in long hours or juggle a couple of jobs just to make ends meet for the family, or they might not be very involved themselves.

Characteristics of an uninvolved parenting style include:

• Does not address emotional needs

• Does not set behavioral or academic expectations

• Parent-child relationship is extremely fragile or non-existent

• Parents allow children to tend to themselves

• Little parental involvement in child’s activities

• Lack of nurturing and affection

Effects of the Types of Parenting Styles

The four parenting styles can affect child development differently, shaping child behavior, emotional well-being, and social skills. Authoritative approaches are often associated with positive outcomes, such as increased self-esteem, better academic performance, and improved social skills. Conversely, the remaining parenting styles may contribute to long-lasting impacts, such as higher levels of anxiety, lower academic achievement, and increased risk-taking behaviors. Understanding the effects of parenting styles on child development can help parents make informed decisions about their approach to raising their children.

Effects of Authoritarian Parenting on Children

Authoritarian parents tend to have strict expectations for obedience and good behavior, so they usually want their kids to accept their judgment and values without question. This really holds back kids from being able to make their own choices and decisions. Kids with authoritarian parents often struggle with their mental health and may pull away from others because they don't get the support they need to express and handle their feelings.

Possible effects of an authoritarian parenting style on children include:

•           Feeling more unhappy

•           Struggling with independence

•           Dealing with insecurities and low self-esteem

•           Having trouble managing emotions

•           Lacking effective coping skills

•           Experiencing depression

•           Struggling with social interactions

•           Using substances

•           Having an avoidant or disorganized attachment style

•           Showing rebellious behavior and tendencies

Effects of Authoritative Parenting on Children

Many people think that authoritative parenting is the best way to go since it helps parents build a warm and loving atmosphere for their kids. Kids with authoritative parents often become more self-reliant and socially responsible since they get chances to explore their own autonomy and independence.

Possible effects of an authoritative parenting style on children include:

•           Improved mental well-being

•           Strong self-confidence

•           Academic success

•           Good social skills

•           Healthy relationship habits

•           Secure bond with parents

Effects of Permissive Parenting on Children

Permissive parents are really warm and loving when it comes to their kids and their needs. This approach is healthy and can help create strong attachments and bonding. But, permissive parenting doesn’t really focus much on discipline or correcting behaviors. Taking a more indulgent approach to raising kids can really have some effects. You know, kids with permissive parents often end up having lower self-esteem and less independence.

Possible effects of an authoritative parenting style on children include:

•           Behaviors that are self-focused or centered on oneself

•           Issues related to emotions and behavior

•           Limited self-sufficiency

•           Reduced confidence

•           Parental reliance

•           Impulsive actions

•           Defiant conduct

Effects of Uninvolved Parenting on Children

Uninvolved parenting can be considered the most harmful approach to raising children. Uninvolved parents are distant, indifferent, and dismissive of their children's needs. Negligent parenting philosophies fail to promote the establishment of rules, parental engagement, or the expression of affection, leading to potentially serious consequences.

Possible effects of an uninvolved parenting style on children include:

•           Poor mental health

•           Low self-esteem

•           Low self-confidence

•           Seeking validation from others

•           Emotional dysregulation

•           Substance use